Is Your Lawyer Quietly Undermining Your Reunification Case?
What most parents get wrong when choosing legal support in alienation cases — and how to build the right team.
At The Couples Therapy and Reunification Counseling, we’ve helped hundreds of parents navigate the painful and often overwhelming experience of parental alienation. We’ve seen firsthand how deeply these cases affect families — emotionally, psychologically, and legally.
One of the most common (and costly) mistakes we see parents make?
Hiring the wrong lawyer.
It’s an easy mistake to make. After all, most parents are doing their best under stress. They want someone experienced — someone who’s been practicing family law for decades.
But here’s what we’ve learned:
Experience ≠ Alignment
Years in the field doesn’t automatically translate to skill in alienation cases.
Some experienced attorneys are incredible — collaborative, informed, and willing to fight when it matters. But others tend to be:
Rigid in their thinking
Unwilling to work with your coach or therapist
Overly cautious or dismissive of alienation dynamics
Focused only on conventional outcomes that don’t protect your bond with your child
In a high-conflict custody case where alienation is present, these traits can do more harm than good — even when the lawyer has the best intentions.
What Actually Makes a Lawyer the Right Fit?
Alienation cases require more than just legal knowledge — they require flexibility, insight, and a willingness to collaborate.
When evaluating attorneys, we recommend looking for someone who is:
✅ Strategic and adaptable – Able to navigate the twists and turns of alienation without falling back on boilerplate custody plans
✅ Collaborative – Willing to partner with reunification coaches, therapists, and expert consultants
✅ Coachable – Open to learning about alienation and the psychological dynamics involved
✅ Responsive – Keeps communication open and timely
✅ Assertive – Ready to litigate if necessary, not just settle for what’s “easiest”
A Smarter Legal Strategy
Many of our clients find success by building a two-part legal team:
A flexible, younger attorney who is open-minded and willing to try new strategies
A consulting lawyer or co-counsel who specializes in alienation and provides guidance on the bigger picture
This team approach is often more affordable in the long run and leads to better outcomes.
Beware of “Safe” Lawyers
Some of the most dangerous legal advice doesn’t come from obviously dismissive attorneys — it comes from the ones who sound calm, logical, and strategic, while slowly guiding you into agreements that erode your rights and enable alienation to deepen.
They’re not trying to sabotage you. They just don’t fully understand how alienation works — how manipulation can mask itself, how promises are weaponized, and how “temporary” agreements can become permanent losses.
If your current lawyer:
🚩 Downplays your concerns
🚩 Refuses to work with your reunification team
🚩 Ignores or misunderstands psychological abuse
🚩 Focuses only on traditional parenting plans
🚩 Pushes you to compromise while ignoring the behavior of your co-parent
…it might be time to reassess your legal strategy.
You don’t necessarily have to fire your lawyer. But you do need to make sure you’re surrounded by people who understand this kind of case — and are ready to support your long-term goals.
We Can Help
Whether you’re just starting your case, or you’re wondering if your current legal team is the right fit, our team at The Couples Therapy and Reunification Counseling is here to help.
We offer strategy calls to help you:
Understand your legal options
Avoid common mistakes
Build a team that supports your child’s healing and your rights as a parent
📍 Our Locations:
Montebello Office
3524 ¼ West Beverly Blvd.
Montebello, CA 90640
Newport Beach Office
1001 Dove Street, Suite 270
Newport Beach, CA 92660
📞 Phone: (562) 774-6787
🌐 Website: www.thecouplestherapy.com
Let’s build a team that works with you, not against you.
👉 Book your free strategy call today — and take the next step toward protecting your relationship with your child.